Midlife: On testosterone, performance and masculinity – why men, too, may rethink midlife

My stack of books on midlife is now well filled – and I began my journey with male authors. The classic by Peter Attia captivated me straight away: the honest way in which he describes his career stress, but also the reasons how it could come to the point where his career had devoured everything – family, health, inner balance. It is not a burnout book. But a book about the search for health, written by someone who, as a doctor, wrestles with cancer every day.

Men and women meet the middle of life very differently. And so do their books.

Men often enter through performance. Not infrequently the journey begins with a blood value, a growing belly, waning strength or the realisation that recovery suddenly takes longer. Many notice: the body no longer works the way it did at 35. For others, their career grows over their heads – the constant stress, the multiple demands.

Women, by contrast, often begin with the body: hot flushes, sleep, weight, concentration, heart health. They want to understand what is happening – and what they can do themselves.

Perhaps this is also because men were long allowed to age differently. Women were judged more strongly by society through youth and appearance, men rather through performance and success. That is now changing – in a rather unhealthy direction: growing old is out. But more on that in a future post.

However different the symptoms and entry points may be – for men the gradual decline in testosterone, for women often the suddenly setting-in hot flushes – for both it is a time of reflection.

„Outlive" by Peter Attia first writes about muscle mass, endurance, nutrition and prevention. „From Strength to Strength" by Arthur C. Brooks is about the transition from performance to wisdom. „The Middle Passage" by James Hollis describes midlife as a psychological developmental task.

And suddenly it is no longer about testosterone or VO₂max at all. It is about relationships. About meditation. About identity. About the question of who I am when I no longer have to be the fastest, strongest or most successful.

Perhaps this is precisely where the real task of the second half of life lies. Men more often begin with physical performance – and, if they keep going, arrive at the same place as the women who more often begin with hormones: at their identity. At the question of how a good life succeeds. Of how one wants to – and may – grow old, and with whom.

My stack of books for men's midlife:

Medicine and longevity: In „Outlive" by Peter Attia, the entry point is longevity, muscle strength, heart health and prevention. What is interesting: in the end it becomes clear that exercise and nutrition alone are not enough. Relationships, sleep, emotional health and meaning are just as decisive.

The second half of life: „From Strength to Strength" by Arthur C. Brooks is especially compelling for leaders – because the second half of life calls for different strengths than the first.

Psychology: „The Middle Passage" by James Hollis is the standard work of a Jungian on midlife. It is not about crisis, but about maturing.

Meaning: „The Second Mountain" by David Brooks leads from the first mountain – career, status, success – to the second mountain: connection, calling and responsibility.

And for anyone who prefers to approach midlife through literature: „Stoner" by John Williams is one of the most beautiful novels about life choices and unfulfilled dreams. And „Homo faber" by Max Frisch tells of masculinity, control and failure in the face of one's own illusions.